The patterns of New Year’s resolutions go the same way every year for most people. New year, new me … they make an elaborate and difficult plan to reach their goals, go really hard at the start and then grind to a halt. Then the excuses start piling up. The most common being, “I’m too busy” “my schedule doesn’t allow it”. Excuses are bullshit, I make excuses sometimes, but I actively try and stop myself from doing it. Excuses don’t get you success. You have to kill your excuses. We make time for our musts. We make time for what is truly important to us. If we value something deeply we make time for it.
So we discard something because either…
… deep down we don’t truly value it
… we feel we can get by without the result
… we don’t really believe in the process
Like I said before I made excuses when I didn’t achieve certain goals, but the fact is those goals weren’t really important to me. They were nice to haves, they weren’t musts. My goals that were musts were all goals that I achieved without question, because I put in the required amount of work without fail.
If you look at all the truly successful people like Richard Branson, Steve Jobs or Michael Jordan they consistently worked hard towards their goals. They truly believed in their goals and they made no excuses.
We have a subconscious resistance to change within us. Humans unless we are in unfavourable conditions don’t really like change. It’s hard to create change when you are not under pressure to do so. You always read the story of these successful people who rise from these very difficult and terrible situations and achieve success. It takes skills and a specific mental state to achieve massive amounts of success under these conditions but the bad situation is a driving force to get change. It was the fuel that these people needed to drive them to success.
When you are in a shit situation there is an intense drive to get out of it. That is the magic of negative emotions. You feel bad so that you create change. You don’t feel good when you’re fat, weak or stagnant. You feel bad because it is a drive to create change but most people misinterpret the signal and they make excuses to justify where they are or even just distract themselves from their situation. People will rather distract themselves with what the Kardashians and Donald Trump are doing than do the things that will make their own life better.
Your shoulds need to be musts. This must be you with your nutrition, training, learning or whatever goal you set for yourself.
So your options are:
Find value in your goal
Ask yourself, how will your life be better if you achieve this goal? Make it compelling. If you can’t make it compelling get a better goal
Build belief in your process
Find people who are successful in the things you want to succeed at. What did they do? Are you doing that? Does your process align with theirs? This is how you validate what you are doing and build belief in your process.
Find a coach that you believe in, follow their instructions and consistently take action toward your goals
Accumulate the small wins. The small wins add up and lead to the big wins. Track you progress and feed off the building success. These are all ways to build belief in your process.
Engineer your success. You need to have musts, not shoulds. You need to believe in what you are doing to achieve your goal. You need to consistently take action in the direction of achieving your goal and you need to overcome the resistance to success, internal or external. It’s simple but not easy. But we don’t value things that are easy anyway.